Why Things Get Rough When You Start to Work On Yourself

It usually takes some sort of breakdown or inspiration for humans to make a change.

We may have looked at that number on the scale and decided that enough is enough.

Or we read a book and inspiration strikes us like a bolt of lightning.

“This is it! As of today I’m going to change _____________(you fill in the blank)”

And so we start.

We start the exercise program. We decided to put together a budget for our finances. Or we’ve confronted the elephant in the room in a close relationship.

And at first it is exhilarating! We are so excited that we made a commitment to ourselves. We are so proud that we tried something new. We’ve taken some great steps. We’re starting to see results.

And then…….after some time……..The proverbial shit hits the fan.

Things get hard. The excitement has wore off. The rubber is meeting the road.

We are curled up in the fetal position on our couches wondering how this journey could ever be so difficult.

This happens with my clients in my Integrative Health Coaching Program.

Every. Single. Client.

I’ve had this same experience myself…..over and over again as I work on different areas of my own life.

One time when I had hit a rough patch, I was discussing just how crappy this particular rough patch was with my coach.

I whined, “I feel like I’m finally doing well, and then ____________ happens! What am I doing wrong? It feels like 2 steps forward and 1 step back. I thought I was over_______________(insert self defeating behavior here). What the hell?!”

Then my coach gave me a great explanation. She said,“Self work is like a video game. You’re all excited because you just got this new game and you’re ready to conquer it with lots of enthusiasm and gusto! It’s a little difficult at first. You’re learning the game. The controls. The characters. The potential roadblocks. But you compensate and get on a roll and soon you’re kicking ass and taking names. Then you master that level. And you’re ready for the next one. So then you’re thrown different characters. Different roadblocks. And you have to readjust to the newness that’s being thrown at you. And while this can feel like a crappy rough patch, what’s really happening is that you’re just at that new level readjusting. You’re not taking a step back. You’re stepping up!”

So as my clients call me from the fetal position, I gently assure them that they should be excited.

They reached the next level!!!!

When we decide to make a change, there are different levels that we have to work through to get to the top. When things get rough, it’s just an indicator that we’re “leveling up” so there’s no reason to get frustrated and quit. We just have to readjust and re-acclimate to this new level. When we decide we want something, the universe wonders just how much we want it……just how serious are we? All we can do is hang in there and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Our guides are also here to help us through those rough spots. We must ask for help as we have free will; they just can’t give us what we want without us asking.

Having a coach has been essential in moving forward in my own personal growth. It’s been so nice having the resources and support along the way when I’m on my couch in the fetal position.I would LOVE to help you “level up!” My new coaching programs also combine Reiki in a longer session to help support you even more when the rubber hits the road.No one ever said that change was easy but it’s so worth it! That’s why I’m here to help! 🙂

Have a happy, healthy day,

April