How to Stop Life From Sucking the Marrow Out of You in 2018
One February night in 2013 was a night in my life that I’ll never forget.It was a miserable cold, dark night in northern Wisconsin.I had just gotten home from what felt like the 57th work day in a row.I schlepped into the house, threw my coat and purse down in our mud room, washed my hands, and went right to the kitchen to make yet another dinner that I was sure to not have all of the required ingredients for.About 15 minutes later my husband wearily went through the same schlepping motions that I had just done. We exchanged the usual, “how was your day/what’s new” conversation.I’m not sure what was different about this ordinary night in particular, but it was the first night that I decided to give awareness to this huge hole in my chest. What was that? When did it get there?I decided right then and there that this huge hole had a name. It’s name was unfulfillment.“Why am I unfulfilled?” I asked myself.I have a great job. I have an amazing husband. I had just finished building a beautiful new home. I had recently bought a new car. All of the things that I was taught would make me happy were apparently not making me happy.What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just be happy?What would make me happy?I wanted to “suck the marrow out of life” instead of “life sucking the marrow out of me.”So what’s a tired hot mess to do?
- Determine what it is that you actually do want.
Once you finally do determine what you want the universe will conspire to make it happen, granted your thoughts, feelings, and actions are aligned with what you want.What did I want?
- I wanted TIME.
- I wanted FUN.
- I wanted FAMILY and FRIENDS.
- I wanted a VACATION.
- I wanted a JOB that I wasn’t bored at.
- I wanted to know MY PURPOSE.
More than anything, I wanted to feel like I was the one in control of my life.
- Determine what is getting in the way of what you want.
If there are several things, pick the one that is the worst offender. For me this was money. I had racked up debt from this house, car, and wedding, and now I had enslaved myself to pay for stuff that wasn’t making me happy at a job that was boring.
- Take inspired action to get move this obstacle out of your way.
I borrowed Dave Ramsey’s book titled “Total Money Makeover” and my husband and I got our debt snowball rolling down hill and in a hurry. I knew that this would one day allow me to cut back on work hours and give me some breathing room in figuring out what it was that I actually wanted for a career.
- Once this obstacle is worked through, pick the next biggest obstacle and repeat the inspired action.
The next biggest offender for me was time. I felt like I never had enough time to do the things that I really wanted. I decided that I needed to define my priorities and spend my time accordingly. While quitting my job was out of the question at that time, I examined the time that I had left over from work and devised a plan of how I could better spend those valuable moments. I meditated instead of watched TV. I pre-planned “fun time” for myself and make sure that I spent that time for myself before I did anything else for the day.
- Seek support and accountability
Accountability is part of the secret sauce in my Integrative Health Coaching Program. Once we tell someone our dreams and desires we are way more likely to continue taking steps towards them. A coach will also help to keep you focused and simplify things along the way. Pray for love and support daily. Find company in a good friend. These things will set yourself up for the journey ahead.
- Be happy now
Happiness isn’t something to be found. It is something that we get to choose and embrace every day. Life is a crazy, messy, amazing, awful thing all at the same time and the more that we can relax and embrace the mess, the more we will find joy in the ride. 🙂
Have a great day and I wish you all the Happiest and Healthiest 2018!